Wisdom on Wednesday

"If you judge people,

you have no time to love them."

~ Mother Theresa

 

 

I love this quote.

 

Which reminds me of a group of people

that I didn't mention in yesterdays post...

 

Kyle and I were sitting in an empty

tram car ~ well, empty except for us ~

when a group of boisterous, excited,

(a little loaded) "Frat Boys"

boarded the tram.

There were at least 15 of them.

I counted 7 of them carrying twelve-packs

of various varieties of beer.

They were passing around a long-neck bottle of beer.

 

One "Frat Boy" sat next to Kyle. 

As the bottle was being passed his way,

Kyle reached for it.

The "Frat Boy" smiled, and said,

"Uh,uh,uh, you are too young Dude."

Kyle giggled, and the "Frat Boy"

talked to Kyle the rest of the way to

the next station.

 

We reached the station and the

"Frat Boys" went tumbling merrily on their way.

I found it extremely touching,

that as each left the car, they

smiled and waved to Kyle.

"Bye Dude", was a much heard refrain.

 

People can be so good.

 

Take the time to SEE and love those around you.

If all you can give is a smile.

That will be enough.



People

I was very vocal yesterday in my opinion of

Las Vegas ~ it's not my favorite place.

But let me say something about people.

 

We have encountered some incredible people.

 

During our time here, as in so many instances,

we have found people who are kind, considerate,

and sort of melt when Kyle is around.

 

We saw the "Tournament of Kings" show,

at the Excalibur Hotel/Casino.

It was fantastic.

Kyle was a little bit nervous, as he often

is in new situations, a very nice man named,

Jason, came over to talk to Kyle.

Kyle wouldn't answer, so he started talking to

"the hubby".

Jason is from New Zealand.  His uncle

has Down syndrome.  We learned that his uncle is in

his 60's and his (Jason's) Grandma is in her 90's.

He hypothesized that it's because she doesn't want to leave his uncle.

We talked for quite a long while.

It was so very nice...

...we met another member of the "club".

Down syndrome draws people together.

 

One day of our stay, we went to lunch

at an Irish Pub Restaurant.

Kyle ordered "fries".

I asked the waitress if she knew where, within walking

distance, I could go to find a loaf of white bread.

One of Kyle's mainstays is white bread.

She was so kind.

She brought us a loaf from the restaurant kitchen. 

No Charge.

A very nice gesture to make one boy's life better.

 

Today we rode the tram between hotels,

people were so kind. 

Grinning at Kyle's antics on the tram and

always wishing him well.

 

People can be so kind.

People can be so compassionate.

People, given the chance, see a "stellar spirit"

and choose to respond with softness and smiles.

 

I am always grateful for those who,

with no knowledge of us as individuals,

take the time to choose kindness.

 

People can be so good.

Travel

Travel.

It's tiring.

Hurry up to sit and wait.

 

It amazes me that we can board an airplane

and in 2 1/2 hours cover the distance that would

take nearly 20 hours by car.

 

 

And we can drive in 20 hours the distance it would have taken

the Pioneers weeks to travel.

 

We left our home in the Northwest

and traveled to the desert.

Las Vegas --

It's brown.  You can see for miles!

The land is not flat, but it appears much more flat than

what we are used to....there are palm trees instead

of evergreens.  But you can find beauty wherever you look for it.

 

Las Vegas

reminds me of

Pleasure Island in the movie

"Pinocchio".

 

People come they leave reality

and get lost in whatever they choose to find

and pretend that real life doesn't exist.

They come, they play -- some turn

into jack-asses -- and then

they go home and pretend it never happened.

It boggles the mind.

At least my mind.

We've done a few fun things....and it's fun to be together.

I will be just as happy to leave.

 

Travel.

It can be so fun.  So tiring.

And when you get home...

...you can rest.

Make a Difference Day

The last Saturday of October is

Make a Difference Day

and

National Forgiveness Day.

 

 

So what will you do today to make a difference?

 

Lots of times we think that it requires

grand gestures to make a difference.

Sometimes it's the small things that

have a great impact.

 

Smile.

At everyone.

 

Compliment someone's shoes.

 

Say "I Love You."

 

Send a Thank You note.

 

Not all acts that make a difference are

big and life-changing for many people around you.

But a small act,

just might be life-changing and huge in the

life of one person.

Notice others.

That makes a difference.

 

And while you are making a difference....

forgive someone who has hurt or offended you.

That way -- you've made a difference in your own life.

Forgiveness sets us free.

 

Make a difference today in someone's life

and you will make a difference in yours too.

Neighbors

How does that scripture go again?

 

"Love thy neighbor as thyself."

 

That's the one!

 

Why, OH Why,

is it so hard to do?

 

In the "generic" sense,

you think,

that's not so hard.

But then....

your home is sold,

you move into "interim" housing

and your new neighbors move in

six weeks after you do.

They complain about you the

VERY FIRST NIGHT!

And the complaints just continue

piling up.

"You're noisy"

"You stomp at all hours of the day and night"

"You do laundry at 5:00 a.m."

"You woke us up at 2:30 a.m."

 

Oh,

and they don't speak to you,

they speak to the ladies at the Leasing Office

who then convey the complaint to you.

 

First your mind catalogues

(okay my mind -- cause this has been my life)

all of the reasons that they are wrong.

First --
"I'm not even awake at 5:00 a.m."

"They were already awake and smoking at 2:30 a.m."

"You live in AN APARTMENT, there will be noise!!!"

 

The complaints continue.

The Leasing Agents are frustrated.

We are frustrated.

They are frustrated. 

 

Then I start to think how it would be if
we lived downstairs. 
Maybe they are sensitive.

Maybe I should be kind.

Maybe I'm judging them harshly.

Maybe they should be thankful

that we don't have 4 children,

aged 4 to 9 years-old,

running around....

Maybe they should be thankful that there

aren't more teenagers here.

Maybe they should be thankful we don't have

2 or more DOGS!
Wait!  Wait!  Wait!
I was trying to put myself in their shoes...

 

Maybe I should be kind!

Maybe I should love my neighbor as myself.

Because....if it were me....

(I think I've discussed that before)

I wouldn't want the noise.

I wouldn't want to feel unhappy all the time.

I would want to enjoy the space I pay for....

 

My neighbors aren't so different from me,

are they?

 

The Leasing Office determined that the floors

would need to be stabilized in order

to alleviate the noise level.

 

For the past two days,

we have moved furniture,

had workers here, pulling up carpet

drilling screw into the sub-floor and joists.

Joe & Gabe

fixing the floor.

It was quite a process.

They drilled right through the vinyl...

After they found the joists, they drew lines,

and drilled away.

The rest of the house they had to pull

up the carpet and complete the process.

I was thankful that there were a few things we

didn't have to move.

 

To say that I was dubious about this process

making a difference in the creaking floors,

is an understatement.

However,

it worked!

The floors no longer creak!

That is not to say that the neighbors won't still

hear us moving around occasionally.

There was no sound-proofing done.

We still live in an apartment.

I'm not confident that the complaints will stop.

 

But we tried everything we can to

change the situation.

 

Today the carpet layers came

and fixed the carpet and put in new

vinyl....it looks like wood.

This is the new vinyl.

I LIKE it!

 

I was trying to be kind,

but alas I couldn't completely pull it off.

The neighbors were gone all day

yesterday -- when the drilling and such happened.

We were here all day to move the furniture.

Today, while the carpet layers were here,

the neighbors were home.

Each time they pounded and bumped the

carpet into place, I sort of rejoiced

that the neighbors were sharing our pain.

I secretly hoped that they went

to complain to the Leasing Office

about the noise.

 

I am a work in progress!

I really want to be kind and

"love my neighbor",

but sometimes it's harder than others.

Believe me, I've had conversations with God

about this....and He is patient with me, because

He loves the neighbors too! 



Technical Difficulties

We have had "technical difficulties"

with our cable, Wi-Fi, and telephones

for the past few days.

To say it's been frustrating,

is putting it mildly.

 

Thank goodness "the hubby"

speaks geek

(no offense)

and understands the ins and outs

of the modems, gateways, splitters,

and such.

I was lost just listening to him.

Thank goodness he knows the questions to ask,

the way to set things up,

and how to get my internet working again.

 

It amazes me how dependent I am

on technology.

I was pretty lost for the past few days.

Couldn't check e-mail, Facebook,

Blogger....

Couldn't look up random information

when a question came to mind.

20 years ago, when I was working at the hospital,

they were in the beginning stages

of "rolling-out" e-mail to employees facility wide.

How did we get along without e-mail?

Oh yeah, telephones.

We spoke to people, left messages and

hoped that they would call us back.

It worked....but e-mail is amazing!

 

I'm so thankful for technology.

I don't have to understand HOW it works,

to be grateful that it DOES work and

that some people do understand it

and can make it work for me!

 

Enjoy your day...

....I will be enjoying mine...

answering e-mails!

Truth

Yesterday at Church I taught

the Sunbeams in Primary.

 

If you aren't familiar with Primary,

it's specifically for children ages 3 to 11.

It's sort of like Sunday School,

except that there is a time frame where

the children meet together and have

a short message, greet visitors, celebrate birthdays

and sing.

Then they are excused to a class time which

is where a gospel related topic is taught.

 

The Sunbeams are three turning four years-old.

They are so cute and sweet and candid.

 

There were eight in my class,

and I had a friend come and help me

because teaching eight four-year-olds is a little daunting,

and I was just a substitute teacher. 

 

We got to our class time,

had a snack, and then it was time

for the lesson.

Each child was sitting in their child size chairs.

I said, "I need to get a chair, cause I'm little too."

One little boy, named Jack, said,

"No you're not ~ You are OLD!"

 

OUCH.

Okay, I'm old.

In fact to these children

I must appear ancient!

 

Truth is truth.

To them I am old.

Just like Irene Wilding was old when I was

a little girl.

And when I was a young mom with three children,

and lived next door to her,

she was older still.

And I loved her, because she first loved me.

 

Our lesson was on honesty.

I asked, "What does it mean to be honest?"

"Don't steal." yelled Jack.

"Tell the truth." said Izzie.

Both very true.

We made headbands that said,

"I can be honest."

Jack said, "I can't wear this,

headbands are for girls."

I told him it was more like a crown.

Later he told his mom,

"See my crown?  It says 'Don't Steal'."

 

Truth is truth.

Even when it hurts.

 

Truth doesn't change.

We can feel when something we've heard or seen is true.

We can't bend truth to fit our whims.

We can act against what we know is true,

but it doesn't change the truth.

 

Seek truth.

Live truth and you won't lose yourself.

 

Truth is truth.

Becoming a Mom

25 years ago, today,

I became a Mom.

I thought I was ready to be a Mom.
I love my boys.
But with the distance of 25 years,
I realize how woefully unprepared I was.

I wasn't prepared to cherish the moments.
I wasn't prepared for how quickly time would pass.
I thought there would be time "tomorrow"
to slow down,
to remember each milestone,
to build and praise.

From this distance,
I know I did my best at the time.
I wish I could get that time back and do more,
be better at treasuring each one of them.

I look back through the pictures
and remember the years
and know that the best thing
I have ever done,
is become a Mom.

No other work in this world can
compare to being a Mom.
It's not easy.
It will never end.
You can't "end" love.
I know I sometimes do things that annoy
my children, but I tell them...
"I will never stop being your Mom."
and I smile.

I am blessed to have the boys
 ~ now men ~
who call me Mom.

Thank you Derek
for making me a Mom.
Happy Birthday Baby!

Stellar Spirits

Stellar Spirits.

What does that mean?
To me, it means a spirit
so pure,
so enormous,
so beautiful,
and
so close to God,
that in order for us to
recognize them for who they are,
they were set apart.
Perhaps it's what the world sees as imperfections,
that allow us to really look at them,
to truly see them,
to allow ourselves the time
to feel of their spirit,
~ their love ~
to allow God to touch our hearts
through them.

When we open our hearts and our lives
to such spirits,
we are the ones who are changed.
We are the ones who grow in love,
in compassion,
in recognizing the wonder,
the splendor,
and the hand of God in our lives.

We do not change those with
stellar spirits,
they change us.
They change our hearts and our souls.

Open your life to someone with a stellar spirit
and you will never be the same.


Wisdom on Wednesday

"When the chips are down,

The buffalo is empty."

 

Think about it....

Today is
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Losing a child,
at any age,
has to be a most wrenching and grief filled time.
Losing that child before they become part of your life,
or just as they make their appearance is a most
empty and lost feeling.

To those who have endured this in their lives,
know that God is aware of you.
We don't always know or understand His plan.
We pray for your comfort, for you to find peace in Him.

Remember those who have loved and lost
before they've been given the chance to really know their baby.
Reach out with compassion and love.



Value

Every life has value.

 

 

I love this quote:

 

"Children value themselves to the degree

that they have been valued."

~ George Durham

 

I love how our older boys

love and adore Kyle.

 

Just a few photos....

Kyle has brought us increased love...

...helpfulness....

....care....

....enjoyment....

....contemplation...

...and made us all better.

 

Every life has value!

Disability is a small thing,

compared to the joy brought into our lives

by one little guy.

 

Find the value in ALL those around you.



Special

When Kyle first came into our family,

people would stop me to

look at the baby,

as people often do.

When they realized he has Down syndrome,

the response often went something like this...

"Oh, you must be SO special for

God to have given this baby to you."

 

I hated that sentence.

I wasn't special.

I didn't feel special.

I felt overwhelmed at times.

I felt worried and afraid that I wasn't equal to the task.

That I couldn't be enough to give this child a great life.

All I had was love.

Before he was born, to my shame,

I worried about whether I could love this child like I loved my other two.

The moment I laid eyes on him,

I fell head~over~heels in love,

and he became just a baby.

My baby.

The baby of our family.

 

I love this thought that I came across awhile ago,

there was no credit given for an author,

but it sums it up perfectly.

 

"God doesn't give children with special needs to strong people;

He gives children with special needs to ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength.

Raising a child with special needs doesn't take a special family,

it makes a special family."

 

I couldn't say it better.

I am not special.

I am not different.

Kyle makes me a better mom.

I have learned that I can be patient.

That little things don't matter.

I've learned so many things that I couldn't have learned without Kyle.

 

Kyle ~ blessing day July 1994

 

He is special ~ and I,

I am special by association.

Derek, Kyle, Scott ~ May 1995

 

He is special ~ and we,

as a family ~ are special because

without Kyle we would be lost, and

he helps us be better

than we would otherwise be.

 

Every individual ever born is special,

unique and important.

Those with "special needs" require that

we love more, slow down a little and

see the world, and others around us.

Those with "special needs" remind us who we are,

and help us become who we should be...

~ Someone Special ~



If It Were...

Let's face it...

we all do it...

we all judge others and their choices.

This judgment, couches our opinion,

and tries to convince others,

that our way is the best way.

 

It generally starts...

"If it were MY..."

 

I wrote this letter in response to the

overwhelming..."If it were my child..."

That I was getting from a school district,

in 1999. 

Is this still relevant to the discussion today?

Maybe, maybe not....but here it is...

 

********************************************

 

"If It Were MY Child..."

 

Parents all over the U.S. are hearing this phrase in connection with their child who has a disability.  Educators, from bigoted professors at prestigious universities to small, local pre-schools, are saying it.  Health care providers, from physicians to tech support are saying it.  Friends and family are saying it too.

 

"If it were my child...I'd have an abortion and get rid of the problem before IT becomes a problem."

"If it were my child...I'd put him in an institution and forget about him."

"If it were my child...I'd want her to be 'with her own kind'."

"If it were my child...I'd want to make sure he was in a class where he was closer to the same level as the other children."

"If it were my child...I'd find a really good sheltered workshop."

 

Would you please listen to yourselves?  You might as well say what you really think:

"If it were my child...I'd want to snuff out his life before I had the chance to know him."

"If it were my child...I'd put him away where there was absolutely no chance for him to learn or grow. 'You bet, I'd definitely want him where no one I know would ever see him.  I mean, really, what an embarrassment."

"If it were my child...I'd want her in a school room where she could never see or hear 'typical' children, because they'd know she's different, and heaven help us, she might start to act like 'them'."

"If it were my child...I'd never expose him to the joy and wonder of learning, of stretching and growing. I'd never expect anything of him because obviously he'd never be able to accomplish anything anyway."

"If it were my child...I'd get her a job she hates, that does not interest or challenge her to and make her go everyday.  She doesn't need to feel productive."

 

Is this what you truly believe, that because a child has a disability they cannot be a productive part of society?  That because a child has a disability he should be segregated from 'typical' children and then hidden away for their entire adult lives?  Is this truly what you would want for your child?  Take a moment and really stop to thing about what you are saying, and then ask yourself, if it were MY child, is this really what I'd want?

 

If it were your child you'd want what we want.  We want choices for our children.  We want them to be welcomed into classrooms and not have to earn the right to be there.  We want professionals to realize that while they may have theoretical expertise, we, the parents, are the true experts on our child.  We live with them we see their abilities, their growth, and the possibilities for their life.  Possibilities that are limited by professionals who want their word to be "law" and don't want parents to question their decisions...even if the decision is wrong for the child.  If it were your child, you'd question and disagree too.  Too many times educators and health care workers see only the disability.  They fail to see the child and the limitless abilities the child has.  Please realize that our children are children first, and yes they may have a disability, but disability is not the only thing that defines them.

 

Our children need to be educated.  They need to be educated with their friends and neighbors, the children they to church with, the children they play with after school, the same children they take swimming and ballet lessons with, or who are on their soccer team.  'Typical' children see children with disabilities and accept them, learn to care about them, watch out for them, and usually fail to see the disability.  'Typical' children will grow up and enter a diverse world where not everyone has the same talents and abilities, likes and dislikes.  They won't work with all the same 'kinds' of people, why is school any different?  Acceptance of diversity at a young age negates fear and prejudice.  Isn't this, a lack of fear and prejudice, what we want for all children?

 

Our children need health care that is thorough, competent and free of prejudice.  If our child needs glasses, we want them to have glasses, without your editorial comments about how 'glasses won't make him smarter.'  If our child needs a wheelchair or walker or communication device, we want our child to have them.  Our children need every apparatus, and every piece of assistive technology that will allow them to be more free and independent.

 

"If it were my child"...an oft heard phrase.  Guess what?  This is my child!  I have hopes and dreams and expectations for my child...just like you have for yours.

This is my child...and I chose to have him and to love and cherish him.

This is my child...and I want him to be educated with his neighborhood friends.

This is my child...and I want him to work at something that interests and challenges him, and do something he enjoys.

 

Aren't these the same kinds of things you want for your children?

So, don't give me your opinion and impose upon me what you think you'd do for your child, because if the situation were reversed, and it were your child, your thinking would change, your expectations and acceptance of abilities would change,

In fact, your entire perspective would change and you'd want the best for your child too.

 

~Copyright 1999

All Rights Reserved~

 

*********************************************

 

It sounds like I was angry and indignant.

I was!

 

Shortly after I wrote this, our family relocated.

Our experience here has been light years apart

from the frustration of trying to include our child

in his neighborhood school. 

In our new home, he was accepted and welcomed,

loved and his needs were put first.

 

However this is still a problem in many

areas.  Many parents still feel this frustration

and need our support.

 

The next time

~ in whatever setting ~

you find yourself saying...

"If it were...."

Stop.

Ask yourself,

"Is that really what I'd....

or if the role were reversed, would I...

something different?"

 

Think about it.



Wisdom on Wednesday

"The people conventional wisdom

deems insignificant

are often the most

influential and necessary

people in the world."

~ Toni Rossi

Conquer Fear

I saw a post on a social networking sight

that said,

 

"Kindly modify your behavior and stop staring,

Down syndrome isn't a choice."

 

I'm not going to tackle the

"isn't a choice" statement,

because for us it was.

 

What I want to say is this...

...don't stop staring...

but if you're curious,

conquer your fear and

ask your questions.

 

In my experience,

people stare because they are curious,

but are too afraid to approach

and ask questions.

People stand back and don't

engage, because they are afraid.

This is across the board,

and not limited to disability, it

encompasses cultures and races too.

 

When a member of your family has

Down syndrome, you are

admitted to an exclusive club.

You are bonded to others who live with

Down syndrome.

Smiles are exchanged,

you have something in common to

talk about....and you make new

friends because of your shared experience.

Others don't have that bond

and when they stare ~ it's generally fear that holds them back.

 

Be tolerant of those who stare,

they are just afraid.

Smile.

Engage them.

Ask them questions, and allow them

to ask their questions.

 

Fear goes both ways.

We see people stare and think the worst of them,

we are afraid to engage them.

They are afraid to ask questions,

but they stare because they are curious.

 

Down syndrome

may or may not be a choice,

but fear is...

Choose to conquer fear.

Believe

What is one of the most important things you can give a child?

 

Your belief in them.

Belief in their talents,

their dreams,

their abilities.

As you meet the needs

of your individual children,

you validate who they

are and who they

can become by believing in them.

 

Children with disabilities

are often discounted.

Schools systems and the people

in them doubt the

need for them to be

included with their

more "typical" peers.

 

When Kyle was transitioning from

early intervention to the Special Needs Pre-school

(he was ALMOST three years old),

a school psychologist came to our

home to review the results of the test she had given Kyle.

She sat in my living room,

and with a look of contrived sympathy,

and a hint of superiority in her voice,

said to me,

"Kyle scored the lowest of anyone I've

ever tested on the I.Q. test."

She then gave me a number ~ which I don't remember ~

then asked,

"How do you feel about that?"

 

I looked her in the eye and said,

"Your test does not reflect my child.

All it shows are the things he refused to do for you.

Does it show that he can run the VCR (yes, back in the day) better than I can?

Does it tell you that he can run the microwave?

Did it let you know that he understands and can use

locks?  Because he routinely locks me out of the house

and won't let me back in, even though he's staring at me through the door and giggling.

Your test shows nothing of my child. 

It shows only what he wouldn't do for you."

 

She was NOT pleased with my answer.

Her face got all red and pinched and she gathered

up her papers and left ~ fairly quickly.

 

Kyle ~ like the rest of our family ~

has never taken too kindly to being told what to do.

If it's not his idea, he will consider it,

and likely not do it.

He's not apologetic about it either.

 

The point I'm trying to make is that I believe in his ability.

I see ability that others don't want to see.

The Special Needs pre-school was good for Kyle.

We fought to have him in our neighborhood school with his peers for Kindergarten and it was a rough year, because none of the school staff believed he should be there.

And then we moved. 

It was like coming out of a dark tunnel into bright sunlight.

Not only was he welcomed in the typical classroom,

he was wanted, and supports were put in place,

friendships were made.

He thrived.

 

Whether those around you believe in your child or not.

Don't you ever stop seeing his/her abilities

and possibilities.

Follow dreams.

Encourage inclusion.

Foster friendships.

In every child...

Believe.

Exclusive Club

 

Having a child with Down syndrome admits you to an exclusive club, where meeting other individuals and families living with Down syndrome

means you never truly meet a stranger.

You have and immediate bond.

You have an immediate interest.

 

This is a club,

that I didn't want to join,

at first.

However, my life has been changed,

enhanced, improved and energized, by the

opportunities and people that have

entered my life because of

this amazing journey we are on together.

 

When we first received the pre-natal diagnosis

of Down syndrome,

the amazing people of the Utah Down Syndrome Foundation,

made sure we had information,

access to support,

and visits from those who had lived

what we were now experiencing.

 

The following was included in the packet we received.

"Welcome to Holland"

http://ndsccenter.org/resources/new-and-expectant-parents/welcome-to-holland/

I included this as a link,

this site has permission to reprint this...and I do not.

This is the best explanation of what life is like.

I hope you enjoy reading it,

and I hope it brings understanding

~ if you aren't living with disability ~

and comfort if you are.

 

Down syndrome has opened our eyes.

Broadened our relationships,

and brought the most incredible

people into our lives.

The most amazing and incredible

being our Kyle.

An Advocate

I did not realize, when Kyle came into our lives,

that I would gain an understanding

of what an advocate is,

and what an advocate does.

 

An ADVOCATE,

is someone who does something

for someone who can not do it for themselves.

Or,

one who pleads another's cause.

 

As an advocate for our son,

I have learned to speak up for what he needs.

To demand services that will enhance his life and abilities.

I have, at times, been his voice.

 

Kyle has "functional communication" skills,

but is non-verbal.

 

What does that mean?

Kyle can and does type on his iPhone or iPad things he wants or needs.

He can, through gesture and a few intelligible words,

get his meaning across.

But to those who don't know him,

(and to some who do)

most of what he says is un-intelligible.

This is his greatest delay.

This is his greatest frustration.

Sometimes it is my frustration too.

The "hubby" likes to say,

"It's like talking to a foreigner."

It really, kinda is.

He has things to say.

Feelings to convey.

I have learned to be his voice.

I have learned to love him more,

appreciate him more as I have been his advocate.

 

I have come to understand,

in the smallest way,

how the Savior of mankind,

even Jesus Christ,

is our Advocate with the Father.

 

In 1 John 2:1

we read,

"My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not.  And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous."

 

Jesus Christ

did for each of us

that which we could not do for ourselves.

He paid for our sins

and allows us to repent.

He pleads our cause with the Father.

 

My little ability to advocate for our son,

has given me a greater appreciation for the Savior,

who advocates for me and you.

I have a greater love for my Savior.

And I feel the love He has for me.

 

My life is richer and more abundant

because I have the grand opportunity

to love, nurture and advocate

for one of God's

great spirits.

Our son is also His son

and I am blessed to be his

advocate and his Mother!

People First Language

What is

"People First Language"?

 

When you think about it, it makes tons of sense.

You don't say,

"That cute little glasses girl."

~ No ~

You say,

"That cute little girl with glasses."

 

You put the person first.

 

You wouldn't say,

"That wart on the nose guy."

~ No ~

You'd say,

"That guy, with the wart on his nose."

And why would you point out the wart on someone's nose anyway? 

Is that all you see?

Is that all about that person worthy of notice?

 

In the same way,

You don't say,

"That little Downs boy."

~ No ~

You say,

"That little boy with Down syndrome." 

 

The person comes first.

 

I understand that we all use words to describe other people.

But are the words we use as descriptors,

all we see of the person? 

 

Think about it,

how do people describe you?

I'm sure each of us would like to be put first,

before one of our characteristics.

 

Try to see past the words used to describe another,

see the person,

and in using your words,

Put the Person first.

 

Thank you.

Resources

As with anything you need or want information about,

there are a lot of resources about Down syndrome.

 

 

In the Down syndrome community -- most of these

are known by their acronym.

I will give both.

Some are U.S. national organizations,

some are state organizations that I know about or have been affiliated with, and feel I can recommend them to you for information and/or to get involved.

This is not a comprehensive list, and I know that most

U.S. States have organizations to give aid and support.

 

 

National Down Syndrome Society

NDSS

http://www.ndss.org/

 

 

National Down Syndrome Congress

NDSC

http://ndsccenter.org/

 

 

Utah Down Syndrome Foundation

UDSF

http://www.udsf.org/

 

 

Down Syndrome Community

http://downsyndromecommunity.org/

This is the Puget Sound Down Syndrome Community

 

 

International Down Syndrome Coalition

IDSC

http://www.theidsc.org/

 

 

All of these organizations have accurate and available information.

All of these organizations can be found on Facebook also.

 

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!

Wisdom on Wednesday

"The measure of a man's life is in how well he strives to overcome his personal handicaps, his God allowed opposition.  Neither his temporary failures nor life's unfair tragedies, and especially not his death, however untimely it seems, negates the value of his personal triumphs.  They will go on forever ~ for him, for those who love him, and for all who follow after."

"Chester I Love You"

By Blaine & Brenton Yorgason

 

 

 

We all have God given opposition.

Some are weaknesses.

Some are excruciating trials.

Sometimes we have both.

All of our God given opposition

~ I love that phrase ~

makes us who we are,

and allows us to grow.

 

For Kyle,

some of his God given opposition is highly visible.

Every milestone,

every step forward,

every VICTORY is celebrated.

 

It should be so for all of us.

We all have battles we are fighting,

and every step forward,

every victory,

should acknowledged and celebrated.

 

We all have opposition.

We all have something in our lives that make us different.

So be tender and kind with yourself,

and with those around you.

Everyone has battles to fight.

 

"The measure of a man's life is in how well he strives to overcome his personal handicaps, his God allowed opposition...."

Awareness Month

October is Awareness Month.

I'm sure that most other months have many organizations for which awareness are commemorated.

October has two which are particularly close to my heart,

along with at least 112 besides!

 

Some of them are:

Bat Appreciation Month

Church Library Month

Domestic Violence Awareness

Go Hog Wild ~ Eat Country Ham

National Bake & Decorate Month

National Chili, Cookie, Popcorn Poppin',

Pear, Pineapple and Pizza

(not in that exact order ~ and I lumped them together)

Rett Syndrome Awareness Month

Right Brainers Rule! Month

Squirrel Awareness Month

(Different than Squirrel Appreciation Day in January)

World Menopause Month

 

But the two I most particularly want to mention have both had an impact on my life and the life of my family.

 

Breast Cancer Awareness

 

Breast cancer has touched my family several times.  And though the  battle was fought long and hard, ultimately the battle was lost.

 

Ladies, get your mammograms ~ get them annually,

get them religiously.

Don't hide from possibilities. 

Take action!

Be your own best friend,

take care of yourself.

 

 

Down Syndrome Awareness

 

Down syndrome entered our lives, twenty~five and a half years ago, when my nephew, Drew, a fraternal twin, was born with Down syndrome. 

And again, nineteen years ago when our youngest son,

~ let's call him, Kyle ~

oh, wait, that's his name...

let's call him, Kyle anyway ~

was born with Down syndrome.

 

Because of prenatal testing we knew that Kyle would be born with Down syndrome.

But exactly what is Down syndrome and what does it mean for the individual who has Down syndrome?

 

• Down syndrome is the most commonly occurring chromosomal condition.
• One in 691 babies in the United States is born with Down syndrome.
• Down syndrome occurs when an individual has a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21.  This additional genetic material alters the course of development and cause the characteristics associated with Down syndrome.
• There are three types of Down syndrome:  trisomy 21~accounts for 95% of cases, translocation accounts for about 4% and mosaicism 1%.
• Down syndrome occurs in people of all races and economic levels.
• A few of the common physical traits of Down syndrome are low muscle tone, small stature, and upward slant to the eyes, and a single deep crease across the center of the palm.
• Every person with Down syndrome is a unique individual and may possess these characteristics to a different degree or not at all.
• People with Down syndrome have an increased risk for certain medical conditions.
• People with Down syndrome attend school, work, participate in decisions that affect them, and contribute to society in many ways.
• All people with Down syndrome experience cognitive delays, but the effect is usually mild to moderate and is not indicative of the many strengths and talents that each individual possesses.

How has Down syndrome affected our family?

How has Down syndrome affected me?

What should you know about a person with Down syndrome?

 

All these, and much, much more will be to topics in the coming month.

So, sit back, buckle your seat belt and come along on a ride of

Down syndrome awareness.

Kyle

One year old

One of my all time favorite photos.

Kyle and Drew

2013

 



Windows

Windows are awesome!

 

And I'm NOT talking about

Windows 8

operating system ~ which I can not understand

or figure out!

 

I'm talking about the kind of windows that you can look

out~of

or

in~to.

 

The kind of windows in your house.

Stained glass ~ while very cool ~

will have to be a discussion for another day.

 

Today,

I LOVE windows!

 

When I was three~months~old, my parents bought a home.  It was a hundred~plus years old at the time.  It's fifty years older than that now.
This house has great windows!  Big windows that look out toward the street to the West and a big window in the dining room that looks out to the yard and the street on the South.

The first thing my Mom did every morning, was open the curtains to let in the light.

 

When our boys were small, we lived in a high~rise apartment at the University of Utah.

I loved to watch the sunrise in the morning.

Our apartment faced North and West....I would watch as the shadows begin to disperse across the valley....

....first the Great Salt Lake turned blue...

...then the shadows marched eastward across the valley revealing the city bit by bit until the entire valley was filled with light.

It was awesome!

 

When we moved to the Pacific Northwest, the home we lived in had a wall of windows and sliding doors on the back of the house.  The blinds were NEVER closed, because the trees and fence blocked any view into the house and let in the coveted beauty of light especially necessary in a mostly gray weather environment.

 

When the home sold ~ and we moved to an apartment for the short term, our apartment has lots of West facing windows (which made it excruciatingly hot in the summer), but is awesome for every other season.  We also live on the top floor...so the blinds can be open and I don't feel like I'm in a fishbowl.

 

Where, you might ask, is all this leading?

I came across an awesome quote that says:

 

"As long as you have a window;

life is exciting."

~Unknown

 

This appeals to me, because since we moved into this place, and our table is near the window,

I feel like the "Gladys Kravitz" of the building.

For those who don't know who Gladys Kravitz is ~ let me explain.  On the seventies sit-com "Bewitched", there was a character named Gladys Kravitz.  She was constantly watching out the window through her blinds, to see the goings-on of the neighborhood.

 

Our window overlooks the parking lot, the Leasing Office, the garbage and recycling cans, and the sidewalk.  I sit at my table to write, or read, or craft, or whatever else....and my eye is drawn to each movement outside.

I see people coming and going.

Walking the dog.

The little carts with maintenance men hustling to and fro.

Leasing office agents taking potential residents to look at apartments.

Sometimes, I just sit and watch the rain.

 

I am seldom bored.

 

The windows in our lives allow us to see the beauty of nature, the changing seasons, and when it's dark outside, we watch for the light.

 

So, for today ~ and every day ~

Enjoy your windows...

...and just call me Gladys.

Bubble Breaker

Bubble Breaker...

...is a game on my phone.

I discovered this game when cell phones first started to "get smart".

The concept is simple.

There are five different colored "bubbles".

The goal is to find combinations of two or more bubbles and "pop" them.

Simple right?

 

There are many variations of this game.

Some have cool sounds.

Some continue to add bubbles each time you rid the board of  bubbles.

Some bubbles actually making a "popping" sound and the bubbles around them move, as if the force of the pop temporarily moved them out of their space.

 

I'm told there are more exciting games...

....like "Bejeweled", or "Candy Crush" or a host of others.

 

But me, I'm a simple gal.

I like what I like.

 

At first, I believed the object of the game was to clear the board of all bubbles.  But the more I played, I began to realize that I was accumulating points for each series of bubbles popped.

Hmmmm.....so, maybe, the object isn't to clear the board of all the bubbles.

Maybe the object is to link more of the same color bubble together to accumulate points.

See ~ I'm very quick on the uptake here.

This is a thinking game.

This is a game of strategy.

This is a game where popping one series of bubbles can seriously hamper your strategy

if you don't think it through and take the time to look for the consequences of your move.

Failure to think ahead can change the entire outcome of the game.

Sometimes, I've worked to get a series of like colored bubbles together

and by not considering the ramifications of a single, simple move, I've un-linked an entire series of bubbles and lost points.

 

Bubble Breaker, is not much different than life!

We have so many choices!

Some are small, simple and don't really seem to matter in the grand scheme of life.

Others, have far reaching ramifications and can change, in the blink of an eye, all that we've worked so hard to gain.

Each choice in our life ~ really does matter.

Each choice ~ big and small ~ has an impact on who we are.

 I won't go so far as to say that each choice gives us points...

...but each choice will either bring us closer, or move us farther away from God.

We link our lives together by making consistent choices.

When we include God in those choices, He will guide us to carefully make the best choice.

When we make a poor choice ~ we can (and should) ask for forgiveness...in this way, our missteps don't change forever the ability to link our "bubbles" together.

 

Like Bubble Breaker ~ Life ~ is a thinking "game".

It is a "game" of strategy.

Each of us need to know where we're going,

and how our consistent choices will get us there!

We need to think carefully about the opportunities and choices before us and decided if they will bring us the desired outcome.

A "cleared board" ~ simply existing,

OR

a "cleared board" and lots of "points" ~ happiness and joy of accomplishment and a life well lived.

 

Really, it comes down to choice...

...in Bubble Breaker ~ and in Life.

Fall

It's fall!

The high temperatures have gone from high seventies

to low sixties.

And rain has returned to the Pacific Northwest.

It's not yet, constant gray skies and rain...

...just a taste every few days.

The weather seems to breaking us in slowly.

 

I love the turning colors of the leaves, on deciduous trees. 

(Did you know that I was an adult with a second grader before I HEARD the word deciduous?  And I had to ask him what it meant.  With infinite kindness and great disgust he replied, "It means...trees that lose their leaves."  I was grateful he didn't add, "DUH", but he was still a sweet little second grader and not a sarcastic teenager.)

I love the colors, and how they paint the neighborhood ~ green, red, orange and yellow ~ and one year, I found a leaf that was a little bit blue too ~ of course, that was because someone had been using spray paint ~ but it had blue on it.  I think that counts.  Don't you?

 

 

I love cool, crisp days when the sun is shining.

I love walking outside and hearing the oh~so satisfying crunch of fallen pine cones when you step on them.

I have even come to appreciate gray skies and rain.

Because I can appreciate the gray skies and rain ~ I am even more appreciative of blue skies and sunshine.

 

Look around ~ appreciate the beauty of each season ~

Find the beauty that God created for our enjoyment and remember to thank Him!

 

Happy Fall!

Wisdom on Wednesday

Wisdom on Wednesday

 

"Some chores must be put off many

times before they're forgotten."

 

 

I'm getting pretty good at putting some things off...

...like cleaning the bathroom...

...paying the bills....

...but it takes a concerted effort before they disappear.

 

Happy Wednesday!



Who Are Ya?

In the movie, "Paint Your Wagon",

gold-miner's establish a town, which they call, "No Name City".

Through a series of events, No Name City becomes a boom town.

Eventually a Parson shows up, and seeing what the town has become, says, "O God, Lord of Hosts, close thine eyes, and hold thy nose."

He begins to preach on the street and he begins by asking,

"Who are ya?"

 

This is a question we've all faced at one point or another.

Other people have asked it outright, or have deduced their own answer based on our actions.

Most ask this of themselves from time to time.

Who am I?

 

We all have many answers ~ some seem obvious

I, myself, am a woman.

A wife.

A mother.

A daughter.

A sister.

A friend.

A busy~body (more about this in a different post).

An advocate.

A teacher.

 

The list for most of us, could go on.

But are those title's ~ those labels, who you are?

Do you see yourself as more?

The experiences throughout life add to who you are.

 

What role does heritage play?

Are we influenced by those who have gone before?

 

I love the show,

Who Do You Think You Are?

I love it, not because "stars" trace their family lines.

I love it because it shows how important families are in our lives.

I love watching as the story unfolds.

I love as the connections are made and the "star" makes a parallel ~ how the life of an ancestor influences who they are today.  Who they are as a person.

How a single trait, like tenacity, or devotion to family, or patriotism, or a host of others is something their family still has today.

 

It is the same for all of us. 

We are influenced by those who have gone before, and who love us still.

Those who have gone before us, and are now on the "other side" are part of who we are.

 

I love the quote ~

"For those who are dead, being dead is not the problem.

Being forgotten is the problem."

 

From the stories of those who have gone before, we gain strength, perspective and hope.

 

Perhaps, it's time to remember, to re-define who we are.

It's time to add some depth, and discover new answers to the question,

 

Who Are Ya?



Proclaiming Allegiance

How do we proclaim allegiance?

 

It's "Rivalry Week" in my home state.

Also known as the "Holy War".

Two college football teams come together in an epic (at least we hope) game.

Both play for bragging rights for the coming year.

Stats are kept ~ which team has won the most in their match-ups, who did the best, who's house are they playing in ~ and how will that affect the game?

The schools are only an hour apart by car, so fans from both teams are represented.

Everyone has an opinion (you know what that means).

Families are divided.

 

It's game day!

Flags are flown.

Pranks are enacted against those we know support the opposing team.

And how do we show our allegiance?

We wear our T-shirts ~ emblazoned with the team we love.

We live 14 hours away, and yet we are interested in this game.  We will eagerly scan the TV listings to see if it will be televised in our area.  We have an interest in the outcome ~ after all, we invested a LOT of money in one of these schools!

 

I will give you a hint of who we are hoping wins glory today....



 

What other things do we show allegiance for in our lives?

We show patriotism for our country by flying the flag, saluting the flag, reciting our pledge to show allegiance to our country.

We vote.

We vote our conscience.

We celebrate our country and show allegiance at the beginning of every sporting event, by singing our national anthem.

 

 

How do we show our allegiance to God?

We worship Him the way our conscience dictates.

I am a Christian.

I believe in God the Eternal Father, and in His son, Jesus Christ.

I believe that the Holy Ghost is given to man as a help, comfort, and guide to return to God.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter~day Saints.

I try to follow Jesus Christ and the things He taught.

If you don't believe the same things I do ~ I don't care.

You are free to believe and live your beliefs.

Your right to believe does not trump my right to believe.

The way you practice your beliefs does not change the way I practice my beliefs.

Allowing others to believe God and His teachings, and tolerance for others and their beliefs shows our allegiance to God.

 

Our example in living our beliefs and doing good to others is showing our allegiance to God.

In the New Testament (Holy Bible),  the Savior, Jesus Christ, taught,

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

~Matthew 22:36~40

(King James Version)

 

I believe that if we all lived ~ loving, caring for, being tolerant, accepting, doing good, and being kind to those around us.....we would proclaim our allegiance ~ with no need for t-shirts or flags.  Our very lives would be an example of good.  Our allegiance to God would shine through, and

we would change the world!